Our Bishop Has Goofed! By Tife Owolabi




Have you heard? The rumor has finally been busted? What rumour? Who busted it? The wind has blown; we can see the anus of the chicken. The clone president has been revealed.

By who? The Holy sprit revealed to the Bishop. Which bishop? Papa of course. I was revealed to him at the back page of a newspaper. That can’t be truth. Holy Spirit doesn’t speak in the newspaper.

Someone might have authored it in the dailies. Ok, the bottom line is that papa said the president is cloned. He read a column of cloned president by an author, Prof Dare.

You mean Professor Olatunji Dare, the satanic writer… sorry I meant the satirical writer?

Yes, the column which papa read. The man wrote: “Since 2017, so goes the tale reportedly originated by the fugitive leader of the Indigenous Peoples of Biafra (IPOB), Nigeria has been ruled by a Buhari look-alike, Jubril al Sudan, a native of Sudan — or Niger, take your pick. Buhari had died in the UK in 2017, where he was undergoing medical treatment. Notwithstanding the fact that Queen Elizabeth had sent a message of condolence to the Nigerian government, the entrenched cabal in Aso Rock had procured a Buhari double in Sudan, and pressed him into service as Nigeria’s president.

“Despite occasional stumbles and apparent loss of memory, the transition had gone so smoothly that the only tell-tale sign of the infernal switch was a scar on Jubril’s left earlobe that was not a part of Buhari’s profile. Kanu, or whoever began the tale, and those who have been peddling it, should update their material.

“I can report authoritatively that representatives of the Jubril family, having discovered the gigantic swindle, suddenly showed up in Abuja the other day and demanded to be compensated with a power-sharing arrangement at the federal level in perpetuity, plus 50 per cent of Nigeria’s oil revenues for ten years in the first instance. Failing this, they warned, they would tell their story to the whole world.”

But that Is a satire. It means “the use of humor, irony and exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues”.

Haba!

Bishop has goofed for taking Professor Dare’s article hook, line and sinker.

Oyinbo re pe te. How is that mean? No, it’s ‘what does that mean?’ It means you don’t take everything one says? Even the Bible says prove every spirit whether it’s of God.

Again Bishop goofed!

Ah! From your mouth? Abomination! You say negative of a man of God.

That is the problem of we Nigerians. We sometimes seem holier than the pope. We think the man of God is infallible. They are humans and they can make mistakes and not all they say is God talking through them.

This is why I still believe many of us aren’t educated, but are aware of education. It is not enough to read and write. One’s attitude must connect with education to sieve the truth in all matters.



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